What is Grief Coaching?
The Grief Coaching Alliance (GCA) was founded by a group of grief coaches who were longing for a place where fellow professionals can come together in community and learn from one another. There are innumerable ways grief coaches work alongside their clients, and a lifelong pursuit of learning drives many of us to be curious about different approaches, techniques, or even ways of being - in service of the clients we support.
Many people that come to GCA will also currently serve as grief coaches, but just as many may not. You, the reader of this article, may work in an adjacent grief field, such as a therapist, counsellor or death doula; or you may be a coach interested in increasing your capacity to work with grief and profound loss with your clients. Or perhaps you are currently grieving a loss yourself, and wondering whether grief coaching could be a supportive approach for you to navigate your own loss. This article helps clear up what grief coaching is, and what it isn’t.
Grief coaching is a process whereby a person who has experienced a life-changing loss (the client) works with a skilled, trained professional with expertise in both coaching and the ability to witness and hold space for grief (the grief coach). In this role, the grief coach is acting in two primary capacities: 1) as a coach, of course, who works with clients to live more fulfilled, empowered, and present lives, and 2) as a companion to the client in their grief – to be with them as they experience grief, in an unhurried, non-judgmental space, where the client can become deeply acquainted with how their loss affects and shapes them, and truly experience the emotions, thoughts and desires that swell up while journeying through grief.
When confronted with the death of a person close to us, many people are fortunate to have people in their lives who support them in the initial shock and disruption that the loss causes. Others may find that they have no-one to turn to, and feel isolated in their grief. Even those who have that support network for the early days of their loss may find that the support wanes shortly afterwards, or perhaps that they feel pressured to “get over” a loss on some set timeline. Grief coaches are trained to be with clients no matter what external support they may or may not have, and to be with clients as they move through grief at their own pace – while also holding true that there will be a place on the other side of this loss where the client can walk more easily with their grief, incorporating a shift in identity that the loss left, or a renewed sense of their own finite lives and an urgency to get to work on something that matters to them.
Grief coaching also recognizes that many impactful losses in our lives are not the deaths of loved ones, but the loss of something else whose absence is deeply felt: a relationship, a job, an identity, a home.
Whether the loss is of a person or something else in your life, not all losses are straightforward. Losses can be ambiguous, misunderstood by others, even stigmatized or suffocated by a community. These losses are also welcome in grief coaching; there is no test to determine whether a loss is “big enough” for coaching or indeed “worthy” of grief – it just matters that the loss is impactful to the client, and the grief coach will be there as a companion and support.
Many individuals will choose other supportive approaches to help understand their grief, which could include therapy, counselling, or community grief circles. All of these modalities have their own benefits and many clients use grief coaching in conjunction with other approaches to find the right support tailored to their needs. Grief coaching is not therapy, and grief coach training does not include diagnosing, assessing or treating any mental health condition; indeed, if a grief coach believes that a client would be better served by working with a therapist (or other mental health provider) it is incumbent upon the grief coach to work with the client to get them the appropriate professional support needed.
Books and articles abound about what grief coaching is and how it should be practiced, but my hope is that this provided an introduction into this coaching modality. The way grief coaches practice this work is as varied as the professionals themselves, and can include cognitive self-awareness (“talk” coaching) approaches, somatic (body-oriented) exercises, motivational interviewing, appreciate inquiry, creative or art-based techniques, and many more. If you are interested in learning more about joining the GCA, you can contact us here, or sign-up for one of our webinars.
